Have you ever wondered how some people on the web define the word Calgary? Well, wonder no more, just read below:

Definition 1: “N. The best city in Alberta. Fuck Wait. The best mother fuckin city in Canada period.

Calgary beats the living shit out of butfuck Edmonton. The Saddledome is ill, olympic park is a beaty, you can see the rockies, the C train gets you from A to B and the Stamps are gonna do it one of these years. Plus the Calgary Stampede is dope.

I’ve only been once but the girls are generally nice clean and well raised upper middle class that dress nice as fuck and are just straight up hot. It is also a clean town with lots to do and it isn’t full of left wing hippies like other big cities. That is why it beats the fuck out of dirty cesspools like Toronto.”

Definition 2: “A city in Alberta, Western Canada. A right-wing, oil-rich, poorly planned-out traffic jam that is run by faux-cowboy hicks who have lots of money but no idea how to spend it practically or efficiently. Calgary is the homeless capital of the world. There are so many bums downtown that they might actually constitute a voting block. Calgary is also the rape capital of Canada, sexual assaults on women being a favorite pastime for immigrants and locals alike. Calgary is also chock full of drug-gangs, grow-ops, and mentally-ill street codgers. The courts don’t actually lock-up criminals, instead they let them out after 12 hours of cushy containment. Watch out for swarming immigrant teenagers who will beat the shit out of you for the fun of it. The hockey team sucks, too.”

Definition 3: “An awesome city with some great people, and some assholes. Yes, there are sluts here, but there are sluts anywhere else too. Interesting people. And 17th Ave is pretty fun, as is downtown and Mission. Should be the capital of Alberta”

Definition 4: “The city is a giant network of poorly planned and poorly maintained road systems, causing mass congestion in a city with only 900,000 people. It sports a bare minimum ‘tram’ system which does not even reach the airport, and is often littered with homeless people who can ride the trains for free in downtown.

The homeless dominate the north-eastern downtown core, and even have their own purpose built hotel, with rates starting at $0 per night. The homeless population can be seen killing each other outside the Cecil Hotel.

Older suburbs are beginning to show their age and are the shanty towns of Calgary. Lack of city investment is aiding their rapid demise, and fueling the local criminal population.

Pedestrians and cars both get the green light at the same time. It’s called population control.”

Definition 5: “Calgary is an essentially boring, lifeless city in Alberta, Canada with delusions of grandeur. One of the worst examples of urban sprawl in North America it’s ecological footprint is massive. So much so that water is becoming a major issue. It is famous for the Calgary Stampede which is a drunken corporate boozefest designed to convince people that Calgary still has anything at all to do with Cowboys.”

Are these people right or wrong? We say neither – it’s just their opinion. We all have opinions about Calgary and that is indeed why the Shitty of Calgary was put together. We simply provide a medium for you, me, other Calgarians, perhaps some non-Calgarians, to discuss the issues plaguing Calgary in an uncensored and open manner in an effort to generate ideas to make the city better.

Have fun.