There are basically 4 classes of people living in Calgary.

1. The very, very, rich
Okay, you have crazy, crazy, crazy cash, I’m talking in the order of tens of millions to billions. You likely live in some 15,000 square foot castle on some acreage, you own a few cars each worth $250K, and you have no debt. You literally use $100 notes to sop up the Cristal you spill over breakfast. When times get rough as they are today, your net worth might have slipped from $3.4B to $2.3B, but you’re not on the streets.

2. The very, very, poor
By very poor, I’m talking about families just hovering around the poverty line down to the homeless. You are likely not reading this message because you might not have access to a computer. When times get rough, not much changes for you since you don’t have much to lose. So you’ll be alright.

3. The modest middle class
So you’re bringing in some okay cash. You can afford a house that fits your family. You drive a simple vehicle. You have little to no debt. If you have preschool kids, either you are, or your spouse is, home full-time taking care of the little nuggets. You don’t really care about how large your neighbour’s house is or the fanciness his cars. In these times, you and your family are positioned somewhat well to ride things out and become stronger on the flipside.

4. Affluenza-stricken middle class
You will stop at nothing to appear to be very rich. You home is oversized and your european sports sedan and luxury SUV are posh. Your preschool kids are in daycare and they do not know who you are. But you heard that the super-rich have nannies, so you hired one who spends 95% of her time with your kids talking to her friends on her cellphone in another language – nanny: 1, your kids: 0 – and you’re paying money for this service?! At this point, your mortgage is likely considerably more than what you could fetch for your house. You, my friend, suffer from a painful, contagious, socially transmitted condition of overload, debt, anxiety and waste resulting from the dogged pursuit of more. You are left with the constant need to work harder, to get more things, which often leaves you in significant debt so you can have the appearance of having all the things that you need. In short, you are likely fucked in today’s depressed economy. Good luck.

Of course there are people who do not into these categories, but you get the point. Which class are you?