Oh, the good old stereotypical Calgary mom. I know you’ve seen them. Perhaps you are married to one, or you might even be one. Here’s a quick test to see if you fit the stereotype:

1. Do you wear a lot of Lululemon stuff?
Because you never know when you’re gonna have to break out into a yoga pose, right?

2. Are you extraordinarily proud to drink Starbucks coffee?
And yes, it has everything to do with Starbuck’s coffee tasting the best and nothing to do with it being perceived as the most expensive.

3. Do you drive a very, very large luxury SUV?
Because at the end of the day you have to be safe and it puts you in a position to look down on regular moms who drive Chrysler Minivans.

4. Do you have a smile that will not go away, even if you are upset or angry?
It’s either the Botox, plastic surgery, or both.

5. Do you weigh less than 90 lbs?
Because large people are ugly and evil.

6. Do you have acrylic or gel nails?
Oh, you gotta love these things, especially when they start to grow out – how classy.

7. Are you a stay-at-home mom but have a nanny?
After all, your kids need somebody to call mom, and who else would you boss around at Sobey’s?

8. Do you lead a shallow, empty, and unsatisfying existence?
You are sad.

Answering yes to any 5 or more of these questions qualifies you as a stereotypical Calgary mom.