If you have ever been to a Starbucks in downtown Calgary during regular business hours, you have likely overheard some well-dressed, self-important individual place an order as follows:

<Typing on BlackBerry paused long enough to rattle off> “I would like a quad ristretto iced venti whole milk organic 3 pump vanilla 2 pump cinnamon dolce with foam and whipped cream upside down stirred latte, at 190 degrees fahrenheit with a dusting of fairy magic, a few drops of morning dew, and a kiss of sunshine.“

Umm… how can I say this politely… fuck off – you a complete idiot. What ever happened to a large double-double at good ‘ole Tim Horties? I think there is a proportional relationship between the length of your Starbucks order and how much of a jerk you are. So take your fancy coffee and shove it up your ass, you asshole.