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Did you know that the longer your Starbucks coffee order, the cooler you are?
If you have ever been to a Starbucks in downtown Calgary during regular business hours, you have likely overheard some well-dressed individual place an order as follows:
<Typing on BlackBerry paused long enough to rattle off> “I would like a quad ristretto iced venti whole milk organic 3 pump vanilla 2 pump cinnamon dolce with foam and whipped cream upside down stirred latte, at 190 degrees fahrenheit with a dusting of fairy magic, a few drops of morning dew from a spring meadow, and a kiss of sunshine.“
Umm… how can I say this politely… fuck off – you are not that cool.
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About The Shitty of Calgary
Please allow me to make one thing clear right off the bat - I live in Calgary and I like the city. It's just that there are many things about living it Calgary that bother me deeply and drag this fair city down.
Have you ever wondered how some people on the web define the word Calgary? Well, wonder no more, just read below:
Definition 1: "N. The best city in Alberta. Fuck Wait. The best mother fuckin city in Canada period. Calgary beats the living shit out of butfuck Edmonton. The Saddledome is ill, olympic park is a beaty, you can see the rockies, the C train gets you from A to B and the Stamps are gonna do it one of these years. Plus the Calgary Stampede is dope. I've only been once but the girls are generally nice clean and well raised upper middle class that dress nice as fuck and are just straight up hot. It is also a clean town with lots to do and it isn't full of left wing hippies like other big cities. That is why it beats the fuck out of dirty cesspools like Toronto."
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Parenting
“Oh, my 6 month old loves spending 10 hours a day with a stranger.”Here is a very, very, huge fuck you to parents who put their baby in childcare before 12 months of age (I’ve heard stories of having a kid in daycare as early as 6 months). Rest assured you will regret this decision. There’s a reason the Government of Canada set maternity leave to 12 months. [...]
Real Estate
“What a great deal I got on my house in late 2007!”So you decided to sell your right-sized home in late 2007 and move into an oversized home in an estate area, right? Why? Because that was all the rage back then, I suppose. But the problem is, you can’t sell your new place for anywhere near what you paid for it. Your mortgage is upside-down; [...]
Lifestyle
Quiz: Are you a stereotypical Calgary mom?Oh, the good old stereotypical Calgary mom. I know you’ve seen them. Perhaps you are married to one, or you might even be one. Here’s a quick test to see if you fit the stereotype:
1. Do you wear a lot of Lululemon stuff?
Because you never know when you’re gonna have to break out into [...]
Public Transit
Park and Ride is now formally known as Park, Pay, and Ride.So the City has already started charging $3/day to park at some Park and Ride lots and they expect to have the payment stations setup for all Park and Ride lots by the end of May 2009. Have you ever wondered what the City will do with the revenue generated from these Park, Pay, and [...]